Thursday, January 19, 2012
Goal Setting & Accomplishment
I heard on the radio today a woman talking about her New Year's resolution. She boldly stated to the DJ that she had made a commitment that her family (all six of them) were going to eat every meal around the family dinner table for the entire year.
The DJ asked the question I would have as soon as he heard the news... "Does your family gather around the dinner table now on occasion for meals together?"
Without skipping a beat, the caller shouted out, "No! Never!! But we're gonna change all that..."
While I admire the woman's heart and completely understand her desire to have her family gather together, I couldn't help but think,
"I bet they won't last the week."
All too often, people create resolutions to start the New Year that are so unrealistic to who they are that they set themselves up to fail. And once the "failure" kicks in, they shame themselves for not living up to their expectations and hopes, creating a recurring theme in their lives that they are incapable of something more or something better.
Truthfully, I am not a big fan of resolutions.
and that is my professional opinion. Too often, they are based on something people are not. They see themselves as they are, wish they were something different or more, and set a goal to get to that new place. It isn't that the idea is bad, it is the methodology that begins from a place of shame rather than joy.
Shame-based beginning points that are supposed to motivate us to fields of joy never seem to quite work out. I prefer a different exercise. Rather than setting a resolution, start with just being grateful for where you are at.
Begin each day with thankful expressions of that in your life for which you feel blessed. It is amazing how this exercise leads you to feelings that make you want more of that for which you are grateful. When those feelings kick in, the motivator toward goals you have begin from a joyous place -- producing a methodology that leads you to your intended "place."
And, with each step forward, a whole new wave of gratitude awakens, furthering your journey toward that which you wanted in the first place. Put simply... if you are not grateful for where you are now, why do you think you will feel good when you arrive at the next place?
PS I talk more about resolutions and goals on KMVT here http://www.kmvt.com/news/local/Keeping-Your-Resolutions--137391873.html